Welcome to my website! I think it likes you. I’m here to tell you that the rumours are TRUE. Well, not all of them, but the ones about MY BOOK BEING FINISHED are! (And probably the ones about aliens.)
I travelled to the Santa Martha Centre for Animal Rescue determined to become a man. I never considered that ‘or die trying’ might be an option. As I was to learn, Ecuadorian animals put the ‘wild’ in wildlife, and I was no longer at the top of the food chain. As if fending off bears, monkeys and a semi-decapitated crocodile wasn’t enough, I soon discovered that there are far worse things than being eaten alive. Like trying to fix a mains powered electric fence by hand – without turning it off. Or washing the insides of a cow out of my hair in preparation for a date… or the look on my girlfriend’s face in the middle of said date, when she encountered the bit of mucus that got away. I probably shouldn’t have been dating her anyway, for a variety of reasons. She spoke no English. I spoke no Spanish. And she was married with two children, although it was a while before I figured that part out.
I spent three months alternating between hysterical laughter and hysterical fear, and by the time I’d finished I was without a doubt a Man. I’d been bitten and clawed, shot at and blinded, electrocuted, shaved and head butted in the balls by a wild pig. But I’d survived, and I’d given something back to the Earth that supported me – mostly by bleeding on it. My three months at Santa Martha changed my life and my entire philosophy, and I sincerely hope this book will encourage others to do the same.
‘THAT BEAR ATE MY PANTS!’ is now available to download from:
Amazon UK: http://amzn.to/thatbear
Amazon US: http://amzn.to/thatbearatemypantsus
And both pages also feature a FREE sample to download!
Please get in touch with any problems, or to let me know what you think of the book. The Contact Me tab above is also the place to complain about my bad language :0) Enjoy!