Tony’s Story

Croc Got Me!

What? You want to know more about me? But… but… I just told you!

You want EVEN MORE? Really?

Well, okay then. Here goes:

I’m huge. Enormous! Especially when compared to people smaller than me. I trained as an actor before realizing that acting, like cooking, is something I’m destined to be really, really bad at. In fact my acting is worse than my cooking – and I can’t cook beans on toast without burning something.

So with my dreams of international super-stardom going up in flames (or was that just my dinner? SHIT!)  I had to pick myself up, dust myself off and find something that I was good at.

Now, if I’d been good at working incredibly hard for years at a time, sacrificing everyone and everything I love to complete the biggest, most thankless task known to mankind – then I’d have become an author. But I wasn’t, so I didn’t.

What I had been doing, was a whole lot of nothing. Small, dead-end jobs which had been slowly sucking the life out of me while I strove in vain to make my Big Break. It occurred to me, quite out of the blue, that if I carried on doing those little jobs – but abroad – then they would transform into something so much more exciting! Imagine working in Starbucks. Not a bad job, right? Now imagine working in Starbucks on Bondi Beach. Nip out for a quick surf on your lunch-break… NOW we’re talking!

So I packed my bags and left.

I wish I could say that it was everything I’d hoped for. But that would be a lie. Because I soon discovered that, if something is going to go wrong, then it’s going to go wrong to me. At me. All over me. While I’m inside it – or trying desperately not to be… Yes, I am a magnet for trouble. So if you see me when you’re on holiday, run. Seriously. Unless you like being shot at, attacked by the local wildlife or falling off cliffs.

On the upside, only so much weirdness can happen to one person before he just has to write a book about it. This I have now done. And yet there seems to be no sign of it abating. So I’ve decided to resign myself to living a life of bizarre, accidental, uncomfortable and often embarrassing events. And I guess you had better get used to reading about them…

Tony James Slater, 2017

8 thoughts on “Tony’s Story

  1. Hi Barbara,
    Strangely enough, it hasn’t made a lot of difference at all – until now! I’ve been in my writing cave, and Roo is now working full-time on her own crafting business, so we’re both at home all day every day anyway! We did have some trips planned later this year, and wanted to spend early next year in Europe again, but that’s not going to happen as the Aussie government won’t let us leave until June 2021! So, we’ll probably be going a little stir-crazy by then, but apart from that we’ve been incredibly lucky. People are still buying books, so we can still afford to eat, and no-one we know has been ill. Fingers crossed it stays that way! Has it affected you a lot?
    Best wishes,

  2. I loved all your memoir/travel books & am looking forward to reading your science fiction. You’re marvelously talented!

  3. Awww! Thanks Cheryl ๐Ÿ˜‰ The sci fi stuff is very different of course, but I managed to squeeze in a few comedy moments! And of course, you’ll recognise Roo’s contribution immediately… ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. Hi Tony & Roo
    Thanks for cheering up a mid aged back packer, really enjoyed โ€˜Bear ate Pantsโ€™ & your quest for fame book. Good to know Iโ€™m not the only cockeyed, overly optimistic adventurous type on this planet. Was crying with laughter over your exploits in bear pants. Love your refreshingly human, down to Earth writing style. Well done. Brilliant. Best of wishes to you & Roo, keep writing & creating !!

  5. Hi Catt! Thank-you so much for those lovely words! We try to stay optimistic, even when the world tries to make it harder! We’re very much looking forward to our next adventure, though it’s looking that that won’t be for a while – we’re in Australia at the moment, and they won’t let us leave! Still, there are worse places to be stuck ๐Ÿ˜‰
    I hope you enjoy the other books – plenty more craziness in there… and yes, it was mostly my fault!
    Best wishes,

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